Couples & Marriage Counselling

Service Description

Positive outcomes are most likely when the partners beginning therapy have a willingness to learn some basic skills and to become more self-aware as well as emotionally vulnerable to each other. Only very basic communication skills are necessary, such as using “feeling” words. Many people have difficulty distinguishing feelings from thoughts. However, this skill can be learned, and it is encouraged during the therapy process. A second important characteristic of successful couples is the ability to stop seeing each other as the opponent but rather as a team member, working to improve mutual contentment. Seeing yourselves as being “on the same team” increases cooperation and also each person’s willingness to be emotionally vulnerable. Thirdly, the ability to feel empathy for the partner is a critical part of the work in EFT. Each person needs to have compassion for the other’s feelings of vulnerability and past emotional traumas. Lastly, a prerequisite for success in couples work is the willingness of each person to own their part in the problems as well as the process of bringing about positive change. Many individuals come to couples therapy with a list of complaints about the other person and a desire for the therapist to validate the complaints and then change the behavior of the other person. Although there are often valid complaints, nothing is resolved unless both individuals are open to change some aspect of their own behavior.

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